Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Longing

It's only Second Life. It shouldn't hurt so much. But it does.

It's been a while since I've seen my love. She hasn't communicated. The last time we spoke, in IM and not even face to face, she was filled with doubts about us and our relationship—doubts that I don't have, doubts that I don't really understand. I did my best to put her mind at ease, but I don't think I succeeded.

She was the one who broke the ice a couple months ago, thus opening my life to a possibility that I had wanted ever since I first met her. So it was very much a mutual thing from the start. Having wanted to be with her for so long, I was primed to lose my heart to her rather quickly. Maybe too quickly. But I love who I love and it happens when it happens. I'm not sorry for that.

There might be all kinds of legitimate reasons that she hasn't been in touch. Drama belongs on stage, not in my life (OK, yes, I am blogging about this). I'm not going to draw conclusions based on an absence of evidence. We have had very good times together, and I hope there will be many more to come. I can't help that I love her. I hope I'm not just being a fool. I hope she's OK.

"I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay / Watching the tide roll away." Thank you, Otis Redding. I'll sit and wait and hope.